No Easy Way to End a Stalemate

Have you ever been involved in a relationship that was at an impasse?  Let’s face it, over time every relationship encounters some degree of conflict; but more times than not, people are able to resolve the conflict or agree to disagree and let the matter die. 

In reality, there are only three options toward conflict resolution:

1.  Agree to disagree and never discuss the matter again.  (Ignore it)
2.  Continue to argue over it and let it bring an end to the relationship.  (Avoid it)
3.  Open-mindedly discuss the root of the issue and work together toward resolution.  (Fix it)

But, what happens when one person refuses to discuss the root of the conflict?  How, then, does the stalemate end?

Even more difficult is when one person, in trying to avoid the topic of conflict, pretends that the root of the problem is something entirely different.  This blame-shift, in essence, opens up a can of worms that didn’t need to be opened, causing nothing but more hurt and turmoil. 

For example, in my novel, No Easy Way, Kate and Tom’s relationship is at an impasse because neither of them can bring themselves to face the root of the problem.  Tom dives into work and avoids the conflict and Kate pretends his work IS the problem; when it isn’t.  Their marriage doesn’t become fixable until everything blows up and they are forced to face the real issue beneath it all.

Just like in the book, there is no easy way, through life’s conflicts; and sometimes it takes everything blowing up around you to make you realize what’s really important.  Sometimes you have to let people go and give up the fight until they are ready to discuss the root of the problem.

But…giving up the fight doesn’t mean you’ve given up the hope of one day ending the stalemate.  The challenge is... there's just no easy way.