"This, That & The Other"

I was reading about a study that was conducted on 300+ women between the ages of 18-35 years regarding the effects of wearing a bra versus going braless. The study concluded that wearing a bra actually weakens muscles and causes more sagging.  You can read the study here.

I’m throwing a red flag, at least until further information is gathered.

 

 

First, how much sagging does that age demographic have?  I mean, why aren’t we conducting this study on women between the ages of 40-60 years?

Second, what size breasts are we studying?  If the 300+ women all belong to the itty-bitty-titty-committee than this is a moot point; however, if we’re studying DD’s then I have a difficult time believing that braless is better.

Third, were the researchers male or female, because (call me cynical) but I think men have a sexual incentive toward a scientific declaration that women are healthier braless.

More than any of the above reasons, I have two causes to object and both of them are attached to the front of my body.  For fun, let’s call them “This and That.”  Now, “This and That” are an average C in size.  They aren’t huge, but they’re not small potatoes either.  That being said, the mere thought of them slopping around in braless bliss is, well, uncomfortable.  If I bend over to pick something up, their likely to fall around my ears, and if I jog down the stairs, I could end up in the hospital.  Seriously, they need to be contained!

Now, I see some smaller breasted women wearing cute little halter tops without bras, and their breasts sit nicely in place…all perfectly perky…and I think to myself, “They look good.”  But “This and That” don’t sit perky or properly when braless.  They go wild.  They’re completely out of control.  They dive out of the sides, squeeze out of the top and smash themselves downward.  Truly, I tell you, they must be contained!

I envy women with breast implants because they can pull off a braless look like no one’s business!  They’re breasts are perky and round and ripe and always, always look good.  “This and That”…. well, not so much.  Women with implants can lie on their back and they’re breasts stay right where they belong.  “This and That” flop to the sides and try to hide in my arm pits.  Implanted breasts are like dogs that have gone through obedience school and exceled, while “This and That” are like the mutts that got kicked out of class for pooping on the carpet and chasing the neighbor’s cat.

Sigh.  I’m thankful to have breasts…but sometimes I wish “This and That” were well behaved enough to take them out in public, braless.  Maybe in time I’ll get them lifted, sucked, tucked, or whatever it is doctor’s do these days to reign them in.  “This and That” are a hand full… and don’t even get me started on “The Other.”  <wink>